Perseverance...

First, I'd like to thank Bri for inspiring me to start blogging again. Since Xanga is so last year...BlogSpot! Now on with my thoughts...

What the Lord has been speaking to me about a lot lately is perseverance; having more of that in my life. There's one thing that's holding me back from being closer to Him...something I have no control over. I know it's something I need to trust Him with, and have some perseverance in.
Defined, perseverance means
1) steady persistance in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.
2) Theology. continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.

We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling short-changed. Quite the contrary -- we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!
--Romans 5:3-5 (The Message)

Let us run with endurance the race that God has set out before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross beause of the joy he knew would be his afterward. Now he is seated in the place of the highest honor beside God's throne in heaven. Think about all the things he endured when sinful people did such terrible things to him, so that you don't become weary and give up.
--Hebrews 12:1-3 (NLT)

For our present troubles are quite small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever.
--2 Corinthians 4:17-18

These have been only a few of the verses I've read that God has been using to speak to me about perseverance. Granted, Paul's intentions in writing them were for the persecuted church, but I'm quite sure they can be applied to the things I'm going through right now. I get some persecution of my faith thrown in there from my brother in there as well....

Anyways, I'm just learning, slowly, to never give up. I've given up way too many times. Walked away from God and said I'm not coming back. Or tried to drown out the situation with things that left me more empty...running away from home, drugs, alcohol, smoking, suicide attempts, cutting. I was trying to find an easy way out...trying to find a way to escape the situation, and not have to go through it. I'm done with that. I'm sticking in there, not going to walk away or drown out the situation. Instead, I'm going to seek God and ask Him to help me persevere, for He has a reason for this, and soon this season of my life will be over, and a new one shall begin.

God, help me to trust You in this time of hardships. Give me the strength to make it through. May You strengthen me in this time, and may I see the beauty that will come out of all it.
Lord, please turn my despair into desperation for You!