I'm having a hard time grasping so many concepts in life. So many areas of life. I try to see the beauty of certain things, the good that is to come, but all I see is pain. And I'm sick of it. I don't know how to go beyond it at times, know what I mean?
I feel like I'm living life alone. Just pushed out naked into a world that doesn't care. And it truly doesn't. Everyone looks out for number one, and doesn't take time out for the little people.
I take time out for the "little people" and get nothing back. I don't expect anything from them, but now and then, just every once in a while, to get something, to get filled up, would be great.
To fill not so dry.
To be not just some empty shell.
I want to feel alive, be alive. LIVE.
Right now, it's just nothing. Like I am nothing to people. Like nothing to the contribution to mankind as a whole.
I don't need an ego stroke. A pat on the back. Nothing like that. Just someone, a person to come up beside me and be there would be nice. Make sense?
I will keep trying. I will keep pushing forward. But, I need to kick so many of these thinking habits aside.
I don't know how I'll do it by myself. Yes, I've got God with me, but sometimes that's still hard. Talking to someone you can't see. Someone that doesn't always answer (or so you don't think)...
I'll figure it out somehow.
3 comments:
So there is this really cool verse that I always have to cling to when I feel the way that you're feeling right now. Its Isaiah 55:10-11
""The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it."
I just get really discouraged sometimes when I am pouring so much of myself out and feel like I'm getting nothing in return, and also when I feel like nothing I'm doing is making a difference. I always have to go back to that verse and hold it as a promise from God that as long as I'm being faithful to put His word out there, it won't return to Him void.
Anyway, its a lie that you're alone or that you're not making a difference. One big huge lie. Don't let it get to you, thats exactly what Satan wants, he wants you to believe that so you fail. But I don't think you'll fail. =o)
I think God has big things in store for you.
Wow, longest comment EVER.
Ha...that may be so, but I like it. :)
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